And the best way to parent is.......?

Is anyone else out there as confused as i am about the best way to manage their kids??  Some of the 'well meaning' advice from every man and his dog, seems to be getting a bit .... ridiculous.  I can understand things like not calling your kids names or bad words, (obviously i agree with this one!!), and making sure they understand that it's their behavior you don't like and not them is good too, but i draw the line at not being able to tell my child he is Handsome, or Clever, or Smart!!!

That's Right!!  Telling your child he/she is good looking or smart or fast etc, is no longer a Good Thing!!  According to several (well meaning i'm sure) experts, it makes the child feel unnecessarily pressured to reach that same 'expectation', which isn't always realistic or achievable.

UHUH.
Has this been around for a while and i've just missed it completely or is it the newest thing in child development??

I'm sorry to those reading that agree with this way of thinking but WTF!  What happened to telling your little princess that she is beautiful no matter what?  Or telling your boy that he's really clever because he read a story???  How is this wrong?  Since when did telling a child he's fast make him turn into a nervous wreck trying desperately to win every race to meet an ideal??  Back when i was younger it made me feel AMAZING to hear that i was fast (and dammit i was!!) because it meant that even when i didn't win, there was still someone that said i was fast, and therefore i was!

I've been trying all night to find a good side to this 'expert advice' (please feel free to politely enlighten me) but i'm failing.  We seem to be acting so PC about everything now, and wrapping our precious babies in cotton wool/bubble wrap/defense shields, but what are we protecting them from??  To stop praising our kids and simply focus on the action they're doing seems wrong to me.

Does anyone else remember being complimented on their appearance by their parents??  Did it make you feel pressured or did it make you feel loved?  Is it just me that felt loved in response to being told i'm awesome? I certainly didn't grow up feeling like a failure because i didn't win every race or every beauty contest (Ok, so there were never any beauty contests).  I grew up knowing the reality that there were always going to be girls that were prettier than me, but that i was still beautiful.  I was taught that i was clever too, maybe not in the same way as the math whizz sitting next to me, but still clever in my own way.  And you know what else, it made me feel like i was just as good as they were.  Like an equal.  And it made me appreciate what they were good at too.  (Im quite sure i didn't think of it in such an in depth way when i was 5, but that's ok)

My point is this i guess.  I grew up to be a reasonably normal individual.  (Please note, rebellious teen phase doesn't count in this discussion).  Sure i have issues (Show me the solitary person who doesn't please) but i'm still a well rounded individual.  Life is hard sometimes, and reality can often be a difficult one to swallow, but to never be called a beautiful princess by my dad, or told that i'm fast and strong like superman by my mum?  That would be a tragedy.

I know these experts aren't saying 'don't praise them at all' but why do i have to praise my sons actions/behaviors, but leave them out? I don't want to say 'that's a neat shirt', i want to say 'You're handsome in that shirt!'  And i want to tell him he's good looking because i want him to see that he is, and that beauty has many forms and faces, just as being clever has many shapes and shades!!  I don't believe saying these things to my child are going to torment him as he grows, make him focus solely on his appearance, or make him feel unworthy when he's having a bad day, i think they will be the things that keep him afloat.

And another thing, why is it ok to let them believe in all things fairy tale (santa, toothfairy, easter bunny) but not believe in their own Awesomeness??

So who's picked up that i'm over tired right now!!??
 I don't usually like posting about things like this because everyone has their own way of doing things, and i really do believe that everyone has the right to do things how they want without criticism or judgment (within reason obviously), but this has really been bugging me!  So there you go.  That's my 2 cents worth.  If you have any questions or comments, i'l be the one in the background telling my boys they're Freakin' Awesome/clever/smart/gorgeous!!



Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

Experiment 626 - First thoughts!

I was s'posed to write this yesterday.  I can't remember why i didn't...oh well, i'm doing it now!

I've done the oil cleanse for 2 nights now.  By cleanse (for those who missed this post) i mean basting my face in oil so it looks like a raw chicken bum, massaging for a couple of minutes (not something i do for raw chicken bums), then 'steaming' my face with a hot flannel twice before wiping off the remaining oil.  I've also been moisturizing with the oil mix to soak overnight (kinda like a slow roast!)and wiping my skin clean with a hot flannel in the morning.

My thoughts so far....

Well first off, i Did Not experience the instant oil slick/massive pimple breakout i was fully expecting to wake up with!!  In fact, my skin felt quite tight and dry!! (I Know Right!!?) And in spite of my worry about ruining my pillow, most of the oil had absorbed right into my skin by the time i went to bed (about 1/2 an hour after i applied my potion) and my pillow remains unblemished!

The second night was much the same, and after i wiped my skin clean in the morning it was def' dry, leaving me needing to apply my normal moisturizer.  I think an increase to the amount of Evoo in my potion is in order to try and remedy the dryness. Hopefully it works!

I noticed after the first day that my skin was softer, which is a bonus!  Hopefully some of the other benefits start to eventuate too!!  At the very least it's no worse than what i'm already using, and has worked out cheaper, so i'm proceeding with the month long experiment!!

Stay tuned for my weekly update on Friday!!....Unless i forget, or run out of time,or suddenly develop a social life....Bahahaha, yeah so i'll be seeing ya's on Friday!


Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

20 Months old!! :)

These posts are gunna have to stop once Lachy turns 2, just so i don't start feeling old or anything!! 20 Months...in 4 short months he'll be 2....

Let me tell ya about this kid!!

#  His eating has changed so much in the last month, and he's a pretty fussy eater now.  We've resorted to hiding his veges in his meat to get him to eat them, and he's gone right off most fruit too.  (Except for when i was complaining about this to my MIL, then he started munching back the grapes she gave him and made me look like a total fraud!)

#  This kid is so addicted to raisins that they can be clearly identified on exit!! Possibly need to give him a few Less packs each day...

#  Continues to favor the word truck, and is still reluctant to indulge me with a 'thank-you'...even a 'ta' would be nice! He's started saying "Hiiiii" when he waves and sounds absolutely ADORABLE!!

#  Is fast learning that Time out isn't a fun activity!

#  Is still obsessed with jumping, and sometimes he can even make his feet leave the ground!!

#  Whinging and whining accompanied by a 'fake' cry that starts with his bottom lip sticking out, closely followed by 'A-woo-woo-woo-wooo'!! It's so freakin' cute!! (the fake cry i mean, not the whinging and whining...that's not cute by any stretch.)

#  He still LOVES the water, and every time i'm watering the garden he's trying to get in front of the hose! Sprinklers and paddling pools and baths are just Awesome Fun for my water baby!!

 #  The wonderful world of pedals is being toyed with at the moment.  He keeps his feet on the pedals while we push him around, he won't actually make them turn himself....Smart kid, knows how to get around with minimal effort!

#  Lachy's interested in everything, and wants to be involved in everything!  Helping with the dishes, changing Ollys bum, even picking up toys!!  He's such an awesome wee helper!! (Next month we''ll teach him how to make breakfast in bed i think!!

 Did i mention at the doc's he climbed up onto the consult chair, put his hands on his lap and started 'chatting' to the doctor!?  Melted my heart!!!
I have such an amazing kid!! He's just all kinds of Awesomeness!!!


Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

Experiment 626!!

I'm not much of a girly-girl, don't wear a lot of make up, and some weeks washing my hair is too much of an effort....And i should probably mention that showering every day can be a bit of a task too now that i have 2 kiddies!! (For the record i manage it most of the time...most).

However, i have a very unusual addiction to facial cleansing products, as in, i constantly buy new products expecting them to live up to the hype they display on the bottles/in the ads.  Do i need to mention how often i'm disappointed (and broke, sorry Hubby!)?  My skin remains dull, the pimples continue, scars remain, and the huge pores and uneven skin tone that i was blessed with continues to bite me on the arse daily.  Basically it's rough as guts!! I realize that facial products alone wont make my skin amazing, but even if only one of them delivered (continuously) on a couple of it's promises i'd be pretty stoked!

Enter Experiment 626!! (Yup, i stole that from Lilo and Stitch. I'm that cool.)
The Oil Cleansing Method

I cant remember the first time i heard of this, but lately it seems like the OCM (Oil Cleansing Method) has been jumping up and trying to smack me in the face! Today, i read this post from one of my favorite bloggers, then this one, did a teensy wee bit of researching, and my mind was made!!

Next stop - Supermarket!!

Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Castor Oil and Grapeseed oil!

 (After loading this photo i realized how much weird crap i have on my counter top!!  A pillow case, eye drops, 2 syringes, lids with blue paint and red paint on them....And oh look, a family sized bag of lollies!  (I should probably consume those before i begin this experiment...you know...to give it my best shot!)

Moving right along!  The Evoo (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) and the CO (Castor Oil) are the 2 oils that keep cropping up in all my research. Evoo is the moisturizing component and CO is the cleansing.  I mean really, it's oil, they're both gunna moisturise, but you get what i mean!  After a bit more research i decided i'd add GO (Grapeseed Oil) to the mix too, as it's good for those with excessively oily skin (Like me).  It does seem weird, using oil to control oil, but i do believe in the 'Like removes Like' statement, and it just makes a bit of sense really!

So i'm gunna mix up my potion 2 parts CO, 1 part Evoo and 1 part GO.  Im gunna try it, hopefully, for 1 month (i occasionally lack the conviction and motivation required to stay committed to a cause) and hopefully i start to see some of the benefits that people rave about, you know, smooth skin, the Glow, a decrease in pimples/acne and a couple of folk have even noticed a reduction in fine lines!!

So here's me, no make up, untouched by photo-shop, and really stoked (insert sarcasm here) to be having my Hubby take extreme close ups of my face.

As you can see i've spent about 10 years too long sitting in the sun scoffing down lollies (The drinking and smoking of my youth probably didn't help much either.)

Very Important Side Note!!!  I am focusing on my rough spots for the sake of this experiment!!  I DO NOT spend every day looking in the mirror and degrading my skin, and in fact most days i think it looks pretty decent!!  However, i'm happy to admit there's always room for improvement!

So starting tonight i shall be cleansing my skin with my concoction and maybe even leaving some on over night to see what happens (hopefully i don't scare the crap out of my kids whilst dripping with oil!)  I'll be posting tomorrow, just to say what my first thoughts are, then at the end of every week, to report any results, good or bad!!

And in the mean time, i'l likely be researching another little gem that's found in the kitchen....Experiment 629 anyone....?

Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

'I started a post....'

Honestly, i've started this post sooo many times over the last week, but somewhere between an unhappy bubba/toddler/mama i've never gotten past the title! (which isn't what i started out with!)  To be honest, i cant even remember what the heck i wanted to post about!!
I'm sure it was gunna have something to do with really not enjoying the recovery part of surgery!  Did i mention i'm not s'posed to lift over 5kg for 6 weeks....or that i have 2 children, both over 5 kg....
It might also have had something to do with my baby boy being in agony with reflux....
Or losing my milk supply...
Or maybe it was gunna be about my toddler being completely out of sorts because of his mama's inability to pick him up, or snuggle him properly (cause he's so very rough enthusiastic with his snuggles!)....

It was probably gunna be about one of those things.  It probably would've contained a whole lot of swearing too.

So i decided that i'd post about something else instead!!
 Like the fact that my Olly-pop is settling better with a bit of gaviscon!!
And that my milk supply has returned!!
And my wounds are healing, so snuggling with Monkey isn't as traumatic for all involved!!
And did i mention that i've had the most amazing friends and family stopping in to help out!?
I still don't like recovery though.  It's pretty stressful and doesn't leave room for getting anything done!!
Now, however, that things are starting to get back to normal i shall continue my adventures of life, and resume regaling you with tales full of clever wit...or at the very least i'l put some pics up of my toddler picking his nose being gorgeous...i'm good like that :)

And of course i can't even find one of him picking his nose! Typical!

Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'