And the best way to parent is.......?

Is anyone else out there as confused as i am about the best way to manage their kids??  Some of the 'well meaning' advice from every man and his dog, seems to be getting a bit .... ridiculous.  I can understand things like not calling your kids names or bad words, (obviously i agree with this one!!), and making sure they understand that it's their behavior you don't like and not them is good too, but i draw the line at not being able to tell my child he is Handsome, or Clever, or Smart!!!

That's Right!!  Telling your child he/she is good looking or smart or fast etc, is no longer a Good Thing!!  According to several (well meaning i'm sure) experts, it makes the child feel unnecessarily pressured to reach that same 'expectation', which isn't always realistic or achievable.

UHUH.
Has this been around for a while and i've just missed it completely or is it the newest thing in child development??

I'm sorry to those reading that agree with this way of thinking but WTF!  What happened to telling your little princess that she is beautiful no matter what?  Or telling your boy that he's really clever because he read a story???  How is this wrong?  Since when did telling a child he's fast make him turn into a nervous wreck trying desperately to win every race to meet an ideal??  Back when i was younger it made me feel AMAZING to hear that i was fast (and dammit i was!!) because it meant that even when i didn't win, there was still someone that said i was fast, and therefore i was!

I've been trying all night to find a good side to this 'expert advice' (please feel free to politely enlighten me) but i'm failing.  We seem to be acting so PC about everything now, and wrapping our precious babies in cotton wool/bubble wrap/defense shields, but what are we protecting them from??  To stop praising our kids and simply focus on the action they're doing seems wrong to me.

Does anyone else remember being complimented on their appearance by their parents??  Did it make you feel pressured or did it make you feel loved?  Is it just me that felt loved in response to being told i'm awesome? I certainly didn't grow up feeling like a failure because i didn't win every race or every beauty contest (Ok, so there were never any beauty contests).  I grew up knowing the reality that there were always going to be girls that were prettier than me, but that i was still beautiful.  I was taught that i was clever too, maybe not in the same way as the math whizz sitting next to me, but still clever in my own way.  And you know what else, it made me feel like i was just as good as they were.  Like an equal.  And it made me appreciate what they were good at too.  (Im quite sure i didn't think of it in such an in depth way when i was 5, but that's ok)

My point is this i guess.  I grew up to be a reasonably normal individual.  (Please note, rebellious teen phase doesn't count in this discussion).  Sure i have issues (Show me the solitary person who doesn't please) but i'm still a well rounded individual.  Life is hard sometimes, and reality can often be a difficult one to swallow, but to never be called a beautiful princess by my dad, or told that i'm fast and strong like superman by my mum?  That would be a tragedy.

I know these experts aren't saying 'don't praise them at all' but why do i have to praise my sons actions/behaviors, but leave them out? I don't want to say 'that's a neat shirt', i want to say 'You're handsome in that shirt!'  And i want to tell him he's good looking because i want him to see that he is, and that beauty has many forms and faces, just as being clever has many shapes and shades!!  I don't believe saying these things to my child are going to torment him as he grows, make him focus solely on his appearance, or make him feel unworthy when he's having a bad day, i think they will be the things that keep him afloat.

And another thing, why is it ok to let them believe in all things fairy tale (santa, toothfairy, easter bunny) but not believe in their own Awesomeness??

So who's picked up that i'm over tired right now!!??
 I don't usually like posting about things like this because everyone has their own way of doing things, and i really do believe that everyone has the right to do things how they want without criticism or judgment (within reason obviously), but this has really been bugging me!  So there you go.  That's my 2 cents worth.  If you have any questions or comments, i'l be the one in the background telling my boys they're Freakin' Awesome/clever/smart/gorgeous!!



Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

Experiment 626 - First thoughts!

I was s'posed to write this yesterday.  I can't remember why i didn't...oh well, i'm doing it now!

I've done the oil cleanse for 2 nights now.  By cleanse (for those who missed this post) i mean basting my face in oil so it looks like a raw chicken bum, massaging for a couple of minutes (not something i do for raw chicken bums), then 'steaming' my face with a hot flannel twice before wiping off the remaining oil.  I've also been moisturizing with the oil mix to soak overnight (kinda like a slow roast!)and wiping my skin clean with a hot flannel in the morning.

My thoughts so far....

Well first off, i Did Not experience the instant oil slick/massive pimple breakout i was fully expecting to wake up with!!  In fact, my skin felt quite tight and dry!! (I Know Right!!?) And in spite of my worry about ruining my pillow, most of the oil had absorbed right into my skin by the time i went to bed (about 1/2 an hour after i applied my potion) and my pillow remains unblemished!

The second night was much the same, and after i wiped my skin clean in the morning it was def' dry, leaving me needing to apply my normal moisturizer.  I think an increase to the amount of Evoo in my potion is in order to try and remedy the dryness. Hopefully it works!

I noticed after the first day that my skin was softer, which is a bonus!  Hopefully some of the other benefits start to eventuate too!!  At the very least it's no worse than what i'm already using, and has worked out cheaper, so i'm proceeding with the month long experiment!!

Stay tuned for my weekly update on Friday!!....Unless i forget, or run out of time,or suddenly develop a social life....Bahahaha, yeah so i'll be seeing ya's on Friday!


Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

20 Months old!! :)

These posts are gunna have to stop once Lachy turns 2, just so i don't start feeling old or anything!! 20 Months...in 4 short months he'll be 2....

Let me tell ya about this kid!!

#  His eating has changed so much in the last month, and he's a pretty fussy eater now.  We've resorted to hiding his veges in his meat to get him to eat them, and he's gone right off most fruit too.  (Except for when i was complaining about this to my MIL, then he started munching back the grapes she gave him and made me look like a total fraud!)

#  This kid is so addicted to raisins that they can be clearly identified on exit!! Possibly need to give him a few Less packs each day...

#  Continues to favor the word truck, and is still reluctant to indulge me with a 'thank-you'...even a 'ta' would be nice! He's started saying "Hiiiii" when he waves and sounds absolutely ADORABLE!!

#  Is fast learning that Time out isn't a fun activity!

#  Is still obsessed with jumping, and sometimes he can even make his feet leave the ground!!

#  Whinging and whining accompanied by a 'fake' cry that starts with his bottom lip sticking out, closely followed by 'A-woo-woo-woo-wooo'!! It's so freakin' cute!! (the fake cry i mean, not the whinging and whining...that's not cute by any stretch.)

#  He still LOVES the water, and every time i'm watering the garden he's trying to get in front of the hose! Sprinklers and paddling pools and baths are just Awesome Fun for my water baby!!

 #  The wonderful world of pedals is being toyed with at the moment.  He keeps his feet on the pedals while we push him around, he won't actually make them turn himself....Smart kid, knows how to get around with minimal effort!

#  Lachy's interested in everything, and wants to be involved in everything!  Helping with the dishes, changing Ollys bum, even picking up toys!!  He's such an awesome wee helper!! (Next month we''ll teach him how to make breakfast in bed i think!!

 Did i mention at the doc's he climbed up onto the consult chair, put his hands on his lap and started 'chatting' to the doctor!?  Melted my heart!!!
I have such an amazing kid!! He's just all kinds of Awesomeness!!!


Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

Experiment 626!!

I'm not much of a girly-girl, don't wear a lot of make up, and some weeks washing my hair is too much of an effort....And i should probably mention that showering every day can be a bit of a task too now that i have 2 kiddies!! (For the record i manage it most of the time...most).

However, i have a very unusual addiction to facial cleansing products, as in, i constantly buy new products expecting them to live up to the hype they display on the bottles/in the ads.  Do i need to mention how often i'm disappointed (and broke, sorry Hubby!)?  My skin remains dull, the pimples continue, scars remain, and the huge pores and uneven skin tone that i was blessed with continues to bite me on the arse daily.  Basically it's rough as guts!! I realize that facial products alone wont make my skin amazing, but even if only one of them delivered (continuously) on a couple of it's promises i'd be pretty stoked!

Enter Experiment 626!! (Yup, i stole that from Lilo and Stitch. I'm that cool.)
The Oil Cleansing Method

I cant remember the first time i heard of this, but lately it seems like the OCM (Oil Cleansing Method) has been jumping up and trying to smack me in the face! Today, i read this post from one of my favorite bloggers, then this one, did a teensy wee bit of researching, and my mind was made!!

Next stop - Supermarket!!

Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Castor Oil and Grapeseed oil!

 (After loading this photo i realized how much weird crap i have on my counter top!!  A pillow case, eye drops, 2 syringes, lids with blue paint and red paint on them....And oh look, a family sized bag of lollies!  (I should probably consume those before i begin this experiment...you know...to give it my best shot!)

Moving right along!  The Evoo (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) and the CO (Castor Oil) are the 2 oils that keep cropping up in all my research. Evoo is the moisturizing component and CO is the cleansing.  I mean really, it's oil, they're both gunna moisturise, but you get what i mean!  After a bit more research i decided i'd add GO (Grapeseed Oil) to the mix too, as it's good for those with excessively oily skin (Like me).  It does seem weird, using oil to control oil, but i do believe in the 'Like removes Like' statement, and it just makes a bit of sense really!

So i'm gunna mix up my potion 2 parts CO, 1 part Evoo and 1 part GO.  Im gunna try it, hopefully, for 1 month (i occasionally lack the conviction and motivation required to stay committed to a cause) and hopefully i start to see some of the benefits that people rave about, you know, smooth skin, the Glow, a decrease in pimples/acne and a couple of folk have even noticed a reduction in fine lines!!

So here's me, no make up, untouched by photo-shop, and really stoked (insert sarcasm here) to be having my Hubby take extreme close ups of my face.

As you can see i've spent about 10 years too long sitting in the sun scoffing down lollies (The drinking and smoking of my youth probably didn't help much either.)

Very Important Side Note!!!  I am focusing on my rough spots for the sake of this experiment!!  I DO NOT spend every day looking in the mirror and degrading my skin, and in fact most days i think it looks pretty decent!!  However, i'm happy to admit there's always room for improvement!

So starting tonight i shall be cleansing my skin with my concoction and maybe even leaving some on over night to see what happens (hopefully i don't scare the crap out of my kids whilst dripping with oil!)  I'll be posting tomorrow, just to say what my first thoughts are, then at the end of every week, to report any results, good or bad!!

And in the mean time, i'l likely be researching another little gem that's found in the kitchen....Experiment 629 anyone....?

Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

'I started a post....'

Honestly, i've started this post sooo many times over the last week, but somewhere between an unhappy bubba/toddler/mama i've never gotten past the title! (which isn't what i started out with!)  To be honest, i cant even remember what the heck i wanted to post about!!
I'm sure it was gunna have something to do with really not enjoying the recovery part of surgery!  Did i mention i'm not s'posed to lift over 5kg for 6 weeks....or that i have 2 children, both over 5 kg....
It might also have had something to do with my baby boy being in agony with reflux....
Or losing my milk supply...
Or maybe it was gunna be about my toddler being completely out of sorts because of his mama's inability to pick him up, or snuggle him properly (cause he's so very rough enthusiastic with his snuggles!)....

It was probably gunna be about one of those things.  It probably would've contained a whole lot of swearing too.

So i decided that i'd post about something else instead!!
 Like the fact that my Olly-pop is settling better with a bit of gaviscon!!
And that my milk supply has returned!!
And my wounds are healing, so snuggling with Monkey isn't as traumatic for all involved!!
And did i mention that i've had the most amazing friends and family stopping in to help out!?
I still don't like recovery though.  It's pretty stressful and doesn't leave room for getting anything done!!
Now, however, that things are starting to get back to normal i shall continue my adventures of life, and resume regaling you with tales full of clever wit...or at the very least i'l put some pics up of my toddler picking his nose being gorgeous...i'm good like that :)

And of course i can't even find one of him picking his nose! Typical!

Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

My week in pics!

So i always wanted to do one of these, but don't have an i-phone and, thanks to Hubby's intense dislike of any technology starting with 'i', i probably never will!  
So instead, here's 'My week in pics' (actually its my fortnight but that's ok too!)

#Lachy being a boy with his 'New' bike  #Our first tomato ever (exciting stuff)!!  #Olly getting blow dried after his bath  #Brotherly love  #Hanging out under the plum tree  #Lachy scoffing our family's favorite meal of curry and roti!

#Swimming with my little monkey in the semi-paddling pool!  #Lachy loves this mirror!  #Olly with a facial that makes him look just like his brother at that age  #Lachy helping with the gardens!  #Then taking a break on his rocking horse  #Treat of the week - in hospital after surgery to have my gallbladder removed!

So it was good and bad, but we're all in one piece (except for the gallbladder) and trucking on!!  More on the surgery in my next post...after i've slept more....and then a bit more...Olly permitting of course!


Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

1 month old!! :)

 That's right, my second son is 1 month old!! *sobcrysob*  Where did the time go!!???  I only just had him didn't i??
I guess when i started putting the newborn and '0000' sized clothes away i should have realized that time was in fact passing and my child was growing, but denial is a comforting friend, and i much prefer her company to that of her evil twin reality.... Anywho!!

A bit about my scrumptious crumb-cake!!

#  He feeds like a trooper and has from day one, thank goodness!  I'm trying to get into a 3 hourly feed pattern, which works most of the time, but sometimes it's 2 hourly.  Early days yet though, we'll get there!

Hours old!

First Bath!!

#  Size '000' clothes now.  Most of his clothes are hand-me-downs from Lachy, and i'm surprised to find that he's fitting clothes Lachy was wearing at 2 months!

My snoozy lil' chap!

#  Still squishing him into newborn nappies :)  Muffin tops are cute on babies!

Baby feet - Enough said!

#  Aside from gassy smiles i've been blessed with 2 gorgeous wee grins from him, and have been able to spy the teensy dimples in his cheeks (there's also one in his chin!!)

Tummy time!

Chill time!

#  He's getting used to the bath but hates having his hair washed!  LOVES being blow dried after bath time, just like his big brother did!

Lachy loves his feet too!!

The spike 'do'

#  Lotsa hair!  Kids got 3 crowns just like his big bro' and Daddy, so cute with his spiked 'do'!

I think i stopped blow drying too soon!

Matching pj's

#  Tummy time goes well, Olly has a nice strong neck with only a few wobbles and face plants into his mat!

Practicing his happy face!

...and his interested face!

#  His sleep patterns are a bit all over the place, but he seems to have his longest sleeps during the day (about 3 hours), and does about 2 1/2 hour stretches over night.  From about 4pm til 10pm he has his 'witching hour' in which sleep is a constant battle, maybe gas?? Who knows!

The first month has sped by with our little Olly-pop, and he just keeps getting even more lovable!! (even when he refuses to sleep!)  Can't wait to see what the next month has in store for our wee family!!!


*Please note, none of the pics are corresponding with the info.  Every time i try to move them around blogger throws a hissy, and Hubby's busy with Olly (whose been awake since 4pm - it's now 8.30) so this will do!! 

Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

13 things for 2013!!

Starting the year linking up with Beth and Heather for 13 Things for 2013!!  I always have a few things i want to achieve every year.  Weight loss is usually the first thing on my list.  In fact there's the odd year when it's been the only thing on my list (Occasionally i give it a different name just to look more versatile, you know...exercise more, eat healthy, tone up.  These are all just misguided ways to say i should really get off my lazy arse and shake the rolls away)!!

Obviously i've never been too successful with losing those few 40 pounds i think are ruining my life, and i'm finally fed up with focusing on it as a way of beginning my year!!

This year begins a new focus, and hey, maybe it'l inspire me into action in other areas!

#1  Stop changing to fit others!! If they dont like me, they dont like me.  It's actually OK to have people dislike me, i will survive it! (unless they hire a hit-man...)

#2  Laugh more, especially at myself!!  Because i truly believe that laughter is, in fact, the Best Medicine!

3#  Accept the reality that is me!!  As in, i will never be a girly-girl even though i feel i should be! (Please note, there is no one making me feel i have to be more feminine, except myself)  Make up and me just don't mix, and i don't feel comfy in a skirt...or dresses....or heels...  Say it with me - "Jeans are pretty too!!!"

4#  Be more vocal in appreciating the people i Love!!  Hubby especially, cause he's freakin' AMAZING!!

5#  Be more vocal in general!! Once upon a time i used to spend the majority of my day singing.  I don't really know why i stopped, or even when i stopped, but i remember that it used to make me extremely happy!!  I'm definitely no Aretha Franklin (i'm more like Barney the dinosaur without the talent) but that's not an issue really when my audience is under 2!!

6#  Don't be afraid to Shine!!  I want to do and be so much, but always end up focusing instead on the whispered 'what if's' and lies in my head, and i do nothing!!  I read this post this morning and know that starting from today, things are gunna be changing round here!!!

7#  Teach my boys to jump in the puddles and dance in the rain!!  Because it's lots of fun, and they're waterproof!!  And because they need to see that there's beauty in every season, both in the world, and in themselves!!

8#  Be in photo's!!  And accept the fact that my bad hair day/pimples/and funny knees will be in them too!!  Honestly, i don't want to reminisce over photo's of myself cringing and trying to hide different perceived 'flaws' (yes i had to recite the 'I before E' rhyme to spell that), i want to see a person loving life!!

9#  Live in the Now!!  Because in spite of numerous attempts, changing the past is not possible!!  However changing my attitude towards the past is, and it's necessary for moving forward!!

10#  Create!!  Finding time to craft stuff is kinda hard with 2 kids (people with social lives and children, that have the time to craft are obviously on steroids i've decided!)  But i LOVE crafting and hobbies are so important to maintain ones sanity!!

11#  De-Clutter!!  Enough said!

12#   Take time to Smell the Roses!!  Especially with my lads, cause let's face it, nothing is more important than being with them and just being!!

13#  Blog more!!!  Because this is something i LOVE doing!!  It makes me happy.  And i Love doing it.  Did i mention it makes me happy!?

So wish me Luck and Good Luck to every one as we head into 2013!!


Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'