I have learnt - Going to the playground

#  Safety rails are actually designed to give your kid something to hide behind at home-time, not for their safety like you first thought.

#  It will be amusing for all involved when you get stuck on/in the equipment trying to retrieve said child.  Pxts will be taken (usually by your Hubby) before assistance is given.

#  Cute and carefree are not words that people will think of, as you attempt to take your frumpy buns down the slide with your kid. (This may or may not have been me...)

#  If you must go down the slide with a panicked child, remove your shoes.  The noises emitted from rubber soles on their way down a metal plank can be somewhat loud and attention seeking.  (not in a good way).

#  Your child will learn that life at the playground is not fair.  Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and bite your tongue, occasionally no ones watching, and you can throw a sly handful of sand at the tormentor.
 

 #  There isn't enough hand sanitizer in the whole world to cover your precious Beetle Bug from all the germs floating around a playground.  Just accept it and call it immunity building.

#  Your kid will usually be the one that insists on going up and down ramps in a snake-like crawl, causing the entire playground to come screeching to a halt.  While kids and parents alike grumble at you, you will still cheer and clap for your Super-Brave-Wonder-Child like they just conquered Everest!! (This was definitely me!)

#  Don't bother with a picnic unless your fully prepared to be ambushed by every duck/goose/sparrow within a 50 mile radius!

#  As a bonus, if the birds don't eat your children or scare the crap out of them, then feeding the feathered beasties will provide a good 15 - 20 minutes of amusement!

#  Your child will think the stars and moon of you for going to the playground, bumping down the slide, and getting stuck in the climbing nets with them, and that light in their eyes will keep you heading back there time, and embarrassing time again!!

Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

I have learnt....

Some of the things i'm slowly learning about life with a toddler and a baby!!

Feeling the Love...

#  Having both children sleeping simultaneously is a rarity.  Pays to just get used to it and enjoy the one-on-one time you'll get to have with each kid!

#  What they will synchronize is their bowel habits so that your always guaranteed a double shit-storm at any given time. 

#  Caffeine is your friend. 

#Both children will always need their mum at the same time.  (Please note that a toddlers idea of 'needing mum' is usually very different to your own!)(and no daddy wont do!!)

#  You wont be going to the toilet on your own again for quite some time.  When you do you'll probably miss the company.

#  Your oldest child wont always hate your youngest, and when he changes his mind you'll seriously wish he hadn't.  Bear hugs and kisses from a toddler are often more dangerous than a jealous tantrum!

#   Your toddler is the worlds best imitator of the babies crying.  He will use it when he wants attention.

#  Bribery is a completely acceptable tool to get compliance from your toddler when your stuck with your baby!  In fact, you'll soon learn to keep a basket of bribes on hand at all times.  Raisins, lollies, new toys...whatever works to give you 5 minutes to deal with baby number 2.

#  Bribery can also make your toddler the Best handy helper ever!!

#  People with twins deserve medals.  Triplets - a Noble Peace Prize.  Any more than that...a stay in a Nut house.

#  You panicked when your first child put odd stuff in his mouth/up his nose/in his ears.  Now you get to panic when he puts them in your 2nd babies mouth/nose/ears! On the other hand, it didn't hurt your first kid, so number 2's probably good too.

#  Other mums will always look like they have it all together.  They don't. Nobody does.

#  Being related wont make your babies the same, so don't expect it.  Right from the word go, they have their own personalities and little foibles that are going to stump you and have you putting the medical center/parent center/NASA back on speed dial!!

#  There is absolutely no need to worry about your already full heart, your love will definitely double, and eventually you'll get the hang of those 2 kiddies and soon wonder why you ever thought it was difficult (at least until they're in their teens)



Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'

I have learnt...

I decided the other day, that i would share some of the things i'v learned about raising a grubby, rambunctious little boy!! (And being a mum in general)

#  A Toddlers Rules of Possession is 100% accurate!!

#  Boys attract dirt.  It just happens, and fighting it is pointless.

#  They Love pink tutu's as much as the next little girl.

#  Snails are totally edible.

#  So are rocks/ sand/ paper/ week old biscuit pieces, pretty much anything really.

#  The winky fascination is an early one.  Expect it to be poked, prodded and pulled (usually at the most inappropriate times)

 #  Food IS a plaything.  (it's all about texture...or something like that) at the end of the day so long as something goes in and stays there it's all good!

#  You will end up singing _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (*insert Disney jingle of your choice) as you go about your daily activities.

#  You'll rock your supermarket trolley or your armful of groceries regardless of whether your kid is actually with you or not.

# Sleep is not a necessity

#  If sleep is going to occur, it's usually 5 Min's before you head out the door to somewhere important.

#Sleep-ins don't occur anymore...Ever.  Any attempts to put your child to bed later, in the hopes of extending the morning sleep-in, will only result in a tired/grumpy child and a tired/irrational parent at 6am.

#  For everything you think your doing right, at least 3 people will tell you your not.  Thick skin is essential in this job!!

#  There's more fun to be had with a peg and a toilet roll, than the expensive musical toy just purchased.

#  Those expensive musical toys will eventually drive even the most level-headed parent insane.

#  "No" translates to "Quick, before mum catches me!"

# Banana ruins clothes faster than felt pens ever could!

#  Farts...You'll often wonder how your beautiful bundle of joy could ever produce such a smell (beware the 'ghost poop') and start to wonder what he's been eating (see above).

#  And poop....the things i'v learned about poop....It will come in every size/shape/texture/color that ever existed, sometimes in abundance, sometimes scarce.  Sometimes a neat wee parcel is arranged in the nappy, other times there's a shit-storm that's hit every available space of child and clothing. Sometimes 1 wipe, other times a high pressure hose and some detergent....you get the message :)

And lastly.....

#  You get to experience a Love that is absolutely unlike anything you could ever have imagined!!!

Anything anyone wants to add to this, i'd be glad for the extra knowledge!?!


Toodles!!  :)

'Live for a Life without Regret'